Many
people have heard the phrase win-win, referring to finding something
beneficial in the deal for everyone. The key to win-win is knowing
what the other person wants, knowing what is important to them,
knowing what their deal-breaker is, and knowing what keeps them
up at night. This isn't about knowing the other person's
bottom line, something that is often kept under wraps during a negotiation.
This is about knowing what the other person is willing to risk everything
for.
Take
the goat, for example. A professional gardener took on a new customer
and was mowing her lawn for the first time. It was a large, country
lot, with about a half acre of landscaped yard and a second half
acre in the back where she kept horses, chickens, and a goat. The
goat was on a long tether but the gardener, having grown up in the
country himself, wasn't afraid of the animals. He fed the horse
a carrot out of the bin, gently stroked the goat's beard, and
threw some grain down for the chickens. He then began mowing the
yard, back and forth along the rear of the house. Every time he
reached the end of his row, he turned the mower to find the goat
closer to the landscaped portion of the yard. After a few minutes
of mowing the gardener found himself face to face with the goat,
which had made its way up to the grass still attached to its tether.
The gardener tried shooing the goat out of the way. He tried pulling
on the goat's rope. He even tried making loud noises, all without
success. The gardener thought about the situation for a moment and
decided his state-of-art lawn mower was match enough for pushing
the goat out of the way. And he was right. Until he passed the goat
and now was walking with his back to the animal. The goat, seeing
its opportunity, ran straight for the gardener, knocking him to
the ground.
What
had gone wrong? Thinking about the situation from the perspective
of a negotiation, the gardener had taken all the right first steps.
He introduced himself to the other party. He spent time making small-talk
before rolling up his sleeves and getting to work. He even let the
other party work at his own pace. So why had the negotiation soured?
Because the gardener failed to recognize what the other person was
willing to risk everything for. The goat had stakeholder status
when it came to the lawn and that patch of grass was much more important
to the goat than it would ever be to the gardener.
How
do you recognize a stakeholder? First, set aside your own concerns
and pay attention to the other person. You already know what you
want out of the deal. Stop dwelling on that and focus on what the
other person wants. Ask them what they want. Then, really listen
to what they have to say. The answers might not come right away,
but giving the other person time to express themselves is important
in a successful negotiation No one wants to feel bullied into a
deal. Give your opponent time to not only share their side, but
to wrap their mind around the possibility that there are other possibilities.
After all, the goal is to get to win-win, right?
Find out what keeps the other person up at night. People worry about
things that are important to them. By discovering what the other
person is worrying about we gain insight into what really matters
to them. This provides leverages toward a successful negotiation.
If you know what the other person is most concerned with, you can
use that information to gain acceptance of your own ideas. Knowing
what the other person is willing to risk everything for will also
keep you from throwing out a deal-breaker. If you don't know
what the other person's deal-breaker is and you put it on the
table, you've just raised the stakes and your chances for success
have been reduced.
Lastly,
don't be afraid to change directions. Often when we find out
what the other person wants we try and work their goals into our
view of the world. When it doesn't make sense, we reject their
ideas altogether. Working collaboratively on a deal however often
brings up new ideas. Recognizing new solutions that weren't
considered before can suddenly transform a so-so negotiation into
a highly successful deal.
So
what about the goat? Did the gardener give up the account? Not at
all. The gardener recognized that the goat was a stakeholder. He
figured out the thing that was most important to the goat wasn't
necessarily the lawn, but the food that it provided. By emptying
his grass clippings from the previous yard in a pile next to the
goat before he began mowing, the gardener was able to mow in peace,
without worrying about being knocked to the ground. He remembered
that negotiation isn't about winning, but making sure that
everyone wins.- Stephanie
Tallman Smith
