When someone very dear to us dies, we obviously
experience a huge amount of grief and rely heavily on those around
us for help and support. Unfortunately, when a pet dies everyone
is not quite so understanding and the attitudes of others can be
extremely hurtful; leaving the person concerned feeling worse than
ever and even guilty about their grief. It is, therefore, important
to listen only to positive comments and ignore the negative ones.
Remember that grief is normal when you have lost someone very important
to you and you will have to go through some kind of grieving process
before you can begin to move on.
Grief is unfortunately something we
cannot get away from and it is something we all have to face at
some time in our lives. Losing a pet that has shared a large
part of our lives leaves just the same feeling of loss as losing
a human companion. After all, particularly if you live alone, you
could have spent more time with your pet than anyone else.
The grieving process takes a different
course with each person; you may feel all kinds of emotions such
as pain, guilt, anger and thinking about your pet will be very difficult
for a while without you becoming overcome with emotion. Eventually,
these feelings will begin to pass and you will find yourself being
able to think fondly of your lost companion without getting upset.
MF
This will allow you to remember all the good times you had together
and realise that you gave your friend a good life and did everything
you could to make him/her happy.
Saying goodbye
An important part of the grieving process is being able to say goodbye
to your pet properly and this could involve some kind of burial
- this could be either in your garden or at a pet crematorium. This
is a particularly good way of helping a young child cope with death,
as the death of a pet may be their first experience of it. As with
any funeral, this will help to bring some kind of closure to the
situation.
It is probably a good idea to begin
making a scrapbook to remember your pet by, as everyone usually
has plenty of photos of their pet from when they first got it up
to present day. You could also consider having a portrait done from
a good photo, which could be put up on the wall. This will help
you to keep your pet's memories alive and make sure that no-one
is allowed to forget him/her.
Explaining to young children
As previously mentioned, having some kind of burial is a good place
to start and will help your child say goodbye to their pet. It is
very important to try and explain what has happened in the best
way you can and be truthful. It is never a good idea to lie to a
child and say that an animal has run away or had to go to a new
home for some reason, as your child may begin to expect its return
or feel that they have contributed to the animal's disappearance
in some way. It is also important to show your child that it is
okay to grieve and that it shows how much they cared for the animal.-
Jane Grimshaw
See also: Calculating
Dog Years , How to Pick
a Dog from a Shelter . Treating
Aggressive Behavior in Dogs
